BACK TO

tears

I’ m back to where I started
Back to nothing
Back to home
Back to single hood
Back to no baby
Back to joblessness
Back to loneliness
Back to no one
Back to where I started

I’ m back to how it began
Back to everything gone
Back to everyone gone
Back to every regret
Back to every haunting demon
Back to every ghost
Back to every loss
Back to every grief
Back to every pain
Back to how it began

I’m back to when it all ended
Back to wishing
Back to fantasizing
Back to hallucinating
Back to dreaming
Back to hoping
Back to wanting
Back to staggering
Back to chanting
Back to stammering
Back to when it all ended

I’ m back to who I was running from
Back to being afraid to love
Back to being afraid to dream
Back to being afraid to ask
Back to being afraid to laugh
Back to being afraid to disagree
Back to being afraid to change
Back to being afraid to let go
Back to being afraid to accept
Back to who I was running away from

I’ m back to what I left
Back to guilt
Back to rage
Back to anger
Back to regret
Back to depression
Back to fear
Back to sorrow
Back to heartache
Back to mourning
Back to sadness
Back to empty
Back to what I left

I’ m back to what broke me
Back to tears on my pillow
Back to restless nights on my bed
Back to nightmare filled dreams
Back to heart stopping pain
Back to seeing you leave me
Back to headache filled mornings
Back to jealous outbursts
Back to grieving for time not spent
Back to what broke me

I’ m back
Back to…

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