WEEKEND COFFEE SHARE: NATHAN

coffee-date-1

If we were having coffee
I’d tell you about Nathan
My boy
The one I never got to love
Him who was a part of my life
I knew his personality
He’d keep me awake
Until 3am in the morning
Kicking up a storm in my belly
I’d tell you how I woke up
Feeling complete, settled
Knowing he nestled inside my belly
Growing daily so fast
Being brave for me inside his home
I’d add another cup of coffee for you
More milk?
More sugar?
Then tell you
How much I loved my boy
The one I never got to nestle on my bosom
Nathan, a name I knew was perfect
For the baby listening to my voice
I’d tell you how excited I felt
When my baby kicked for the first time
How much more I smiled when he kicked back my hand
When I placed it on my tummy
Oh my boy it is unreal
If we were having coffee
I’d tell you how my world collapsed
When doctor said ‘no heartbeat’
How my heart stopped beating
If only for a second
When my baby was no more
I’d try not to break down
Listening to the hard silence between us
As memories drown me without mercy
Then when coffee ends
We’d walk out
Knowing I have unburdened my heartache
On my coffee date with you

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