GRIEF IS THERE EVERYWHERE

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Grief is there
When I wake in the morning
You are not there with me
Grief is there
When I go back to sleep
Your side of the bed is empty
Grief is there
When I hear the song I listened to
When I carried you
Grief is there
When I see a pregnant woman
Glowing with excitement
Grief is there
When I see a baby walk
For the first time
Grief is there
When I hear your name called
Someone else’s baby with that name
Grief is there
When my breast aches to feed
Your mouth that never opened
Grief is still there
When I crave a spicy food
Remembering how you loved it
Grief is there
Whenever
However
Whatever
Whichever
Everywhere
Surrounded by its grip
Overwhelmed by its hold
Burdened by its curse
Will grief let me go

EARL GROLLMAN QUOTE

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Grief is not a disorder, a disease or sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve.

Earl Grollman

THE BLUE GLITTER OF THE SEA

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Calm
Beautiful
Serene
Blue waters
Shimmering at dawn
Glowing after dark
Blue waters
Resting waves
Undiluted solitude
Ahhh such peace
Sun’s rays hitting
Surface of the blue water
Glitters in beauty
Such contentment
Watching the sea
At sunset
The blue Glitter of the sea
A backdrop of perfection

I WRITE MY GRIEF

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I cannot speak of it yet
Words cannot come out yet
Feelings cannot be spoken of yet
Emotions cannot be let out yet
Explanations cannot be said yet
Conversation cannot be uttered yet
Thoughts cannot be revealed yet
Sentences cannot be formed yet

I cannot speak of it yet
So I will write my grief

Words cannot fill my heart
Feelings cannot seal my mind
Emotions cannot cover the hurt
Explanations cannot end aching
Conversation cannot sweep pain
Thoughts cannot remove memories
Sentences cannot finish tears

I cannot speak of it yet
So I will write my grief

Words cannot bring him back
Feelings cannot put him in my arms
Emotions cannot make him cry
Explanations cannot return his being
Conversation cannot create him
Thoughts cannot recreate his life
Sentences cannot send him back

I cannot speak of it yet
So I will write my grief

Words cannot comfort me now
Feelings cannot soothe me now
Emotions cannot console me now
Explanations cannot heal me now
Conversation cannot hold me now
Thoughts cannot speak to me now
Sentences cannot encourage me now

I cannot speak of it yet
So I will write my grief

Words are all I have
Feelings are what I got
Emotions are how I feel
Explanations are what I lost
Conversations are how I stop
Thoughts are where I lie
Sentences are when I write

I cannot speak of it yet
So I will write my grief

MY DEAR PILLOW

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This pillow knows all of my secrets
The tears I have cried for my baby
Could tell a story
I cry when my heart is aching
For a loss I cannot explain
I don’t understand how my baby died before his time
I don’t know what I could have done to change it
I don’t see how my pressure could have been so volatile
This pillow has heard me ask
Questions from a bleeding heart
Muffled amidst tears of grieving
Silenced by a coughing chest
Yet with no answers to give me
It has heard my soul shatter into unknown pieces
Unable to pick and put them back together
Or even offer words of consolation to a dying heart
This pillow understands the language of loss
When no one else can
Every thought of a despairing lost mind
Each unconsoled hiccup
Each unfinished breath
Each undone ache
Each heavy emotion of the suddden loss of a child
My pillow knows
My pillow cannot speak
But it knows
Where the stains of my hushed tears lie