FEBRUARY 22nd 2017


Today is the day
Day you were to be born
Born to my waiting arms
Arms that cradled you in my belly
Belly that is shrinking
Shrinking in so much sorrow
Sorrow that has taken my heart
Heart that is still unconscious
Unconcious yet bleeding
Bleeding without a sense of urgency
Urgency to let go
Go away from a hurting soul
Soul deadened by undefined expectations
Expectations of you on my laps
Laps that are now lonely

Today is the day
Day that would have been your birthday
Birthday I would have cherished
Cherished until my last breath
Breath that is chocking my spirit
Spirit so downtrodden
Downtrodden into the hole of memories
Memories I would have created with you
You who were supposed to be here
Here on my bosom
Bosom that is cold from loneliness
Loneliness tatooed all over my subconscious
Subconcious thoughts of a deep sinkhole
Sinkhole I want to bury myself in
In or out of my crazy thoughts
Thoughts that silence me

Today is the day
Day that I wish to forget
Forget that I am in pain
Pain of knowing you are not part of me
Me that is struggling to breath oxygen
Oxygen diluted by a sad madness
Madness seems more comforting
Comforting yet reminiscent of promises
Promises that diminish in the night
Night I do not want to sleep
Sleep is filled with nightmares
Nightmares remind me of your absence
Absence keeps me insanely abandoned
Abandoned by empty hands holding out
Out and about I wish to disappear
Disappear into my own deluded heartache

Today is the day
Today was your due date
Today I was to meet you my child
Azariah Nathan
You should have been here today
22nd February 2017
Was your date to meet
The world
My world


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