My pain my damned pain
It’s a Passport to a naked land
Stripped of its emotions
Baring every raw feelings of hurt
Worn on a torn sleeveless tear drop
Like a rock jaded by rain
Or fire quenched by more fire
The autopsy of my pain
Shows a heart struck into two
By loss so great
It dies in its own screeching ache
This pain
Never believes in dreaming
Or that comfort will numb it down
The day I found you
The day you found me
Forever has now taken your place
This autopsy shows I might be dead inside
Yet outside I must look like I live



Product Description

Deborah Davis, Ph.D., encourages grieving and makes suggestions for coping. Incisive comments from parents who have suffered through the death of a baby convincingly relay this message: “You are not alone and you can survive.”

” Empty Cradle, Broken Heart is written with great awareness and sensitivity. Deborah Davis gets it just right.” -Sheila Kitzinger, author of The Complete Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth

“…there is comfort in these pages.” – Mothering magazine

“This gentle book fills a void often overlooked how it feels to lose a baby during or shortly after pregnancy.” -Booklist

“Davis speaks directly to the emotional and physical needs of bereaved parents.” -Judith Lasker, author of When Pregnancy Fails

“This book is a comprehensive resource for bereaved parents and the practitioners who help them.” -THANATOS, A Realistic Journal Concerning Dying, Death and Bereavement

“As the mother of a stillborn son, I find this book to be the best I’ve found to date (and I’ve read at least 20!).” -J. Walter, Pennsylvania

“The best book on this subject. I did a huge amount of reading after I lost my baby, and I can tell you that this book is head and shoulders above anything else I’ve read on this subject. -A. Douglas, Canada

From the Back Cover
The heartache of miscarriage, stillbirth or infant death affects roughly 50,000 U.S. families every year. This revised and expanded edition of Empty Cradle, Broken Heart offers reassurance to parents who struggle with anger, guilt and despair after such tragedy. Deborah Davis encourages grieving and makes suggestions for coping. Added to this edition is new information on issues such as the death of one or more babies from a multiple birth, pregnancy interruption and the questioning of aggressive medical intervention. There is also a special chapter for fathers as well as a chapter on “protective parenting” to help anxious parents enjoy their precious living children. Doctors, nurses, relatives, friends and parents facing infant loss will find support and reassurance in this gentle guide.
About the Author
Deborah L. Davis, Ph.D. is a developmental psychologist and writer who specializes in the emotional aspects of coping with crisis during pregnancy and infancy, and medical ethics and decision-making during pregnancy and in the NICU. She is the author of several books for bereaved parents and parents of premature babies and has written many articles for parents and professionals.



No person has the right to condemn you on how you repair your heart or how long you choose to grieve, because no one knows how much you’re hurting. Recovering takes time, and everyone heals at his or her own pace.

Lessons learned in life



My heart has not sung
Since you said goodbye to me
Silently without waking up
You told me you needed to go
Your time on earth had ended
Before it even began
Lost amidst a rhythmless world
Music has stopped synching
With my soul that is silent
Even birds no longer chirp
Crickets do not sing at night
It is a horrible silence my child
My unborn
Everything is deathly calm
Even my mind is too lost inside its own
Night no longer seems silhouette
My ears have not listened to music
As my heart refuses to let beats in
Through my soul that is deadened
I am afraid to listen to music
Because only painful reminders
Abound surrounding my lonely self
What song can I sing
When my body howls like the wolves
Out of rythm because of loss
Your loss child
Has left me without music
Give me a song child
To take away this grieving insanity



A new sadness that lives in me
Feels like it will not go away
This sadness i’ve never known
A sadness so deep inside
An unknown sadness
That sadness that evolved
Created a strange sadness
Filling my heart with sadness undiluted
An old sadness
Resurrected by a new sadness of loss
Sadness will not leave me
Inside my soul that bleeds sadness
Every sadness I ever felt
Moulded into a deeper sadness
Bargaining sadness for healing
Remembering every sadness felt
Feeling every sadness known
This new sadness
That lives inside me



Your eyes never opened
Now you sleep in your Father’s arms
No more pain for you
You feel no fear in you
Sin didn’t even touch you
You went back
Pure untouched undiluted
Just the way you came
You might not be in my arms
But you are in safe hands
You now sleep in Heavenly peace
My Angel you won’t cry
My Baby you won’t lack
My Boy you won’t break
My Little man you won’t hurt
I miss the moments
I would have had with you
Sleep now my child
In Heavenly peace
In your Father’s bossom
Up there in Heaven
Now your Territory



How did I not know
That you were dying
Inside my belly
Did I then have
A failed instinct