I WRESTLE WITH MY JEALOUS HEART

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My heart is filled with jealousy
Jealousy of a mother
Who has no child in her arms
I keep asking why
Why me
Why was my baby taken away from me
Why was I not given time with him
Why did he not stay
My heart burns with jealousy
Jealousy of a woman
Who has no baby in her hands
I keep wondering why
Why me
Why was my child removed away from me
Why was I not given moments with him
Why did he leave
My heart burns with jealousy
Jealousy of a parent
Who has no son in her embrace
I keep wondering why
Why me
Why was my child carried away from me
Why was I not given space with him
Why did he disappear

I wrestle with my jealous heart
Wondering when I will heal
When your memory baby
Will not abrasively hurt my heart
When will seeing a mother with child
Not make me so angry at the world
Or angry at her
For having her own child
When will these jealous emotions not be so aggresive
When child, when

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4 thoughts on “I WRESTLE WITH MY JEALOUS HEART

    1. Thank you! Its the emotions that sometimes come in waves. I have written some that I haven’t had the guts to post as they are too raw. Most times I turn my diary entries into poems or form poems that I later turn into diary entries. Writting is helping me deal with everything.

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