Last Stage: Acceptance

It’s like you were thinking what my frame of mind is at the moment. This is just perfect for me and everyone going through the grieving or healing process. Just perfect 😍😍😍

Ancient Beauty


I mourned my loss, Loss of dignity

Denial was the first stage, felt like eternity

I was in a misery and then came anger

It took a toll on body and mind, I could hold no longer!

I started banging my head asking Him one question,

“Why did it happen to me?” I said with regression.

No response, no voice to my release,

It ate at my soul like a disease.

Now past the depressive stage,

Into the future, with acceptance, I gaze.

If you are suffering and mourning a loss of someone, or even loss of your ambitions, hang  in there. Stay connected with your family and friends. Let them in. I promise you will get through this and make it to the other side, where you will see a way to move on with the sweet memories and lessons learned. You might be on different stages of…

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I wish I could skip to Acceptance
But I am stuck
Not believing you are gone
I look at my belly
It seems foreign to me
The concept that you existed inside it
You grew from a small dot
Into a human
I could feel you kick inside me
I cannot believe you were here then you were gone
It is not possible I could be so happy
Then be so destroyed
In the same sentence of life
It is not true
Tell me it is not so
Imagining you were real is hard
Thinking you were part of me strange
You cannot have left me
I will not accept yet
That you will no longer be real
How could it be
When I still feel you move inside me
I can hear you push at my organs
Tug my belly button
With tiny feet as you move about
It cannot be
That I carried you in my belly
Seven and a half months
Now you do not exist on my laps
You have not left
I know you haven’t
I will not accept it



Even though it does not show
My heart is shrivelling
It is shrinking in size
All the blood vessels are drying up
Veins are losing life
I am deteriorating
Your loss is making my heart disappear



I keep calling your name
When I’m wide awake
When I’m deep in my sleep
Hoping you will answer me
Death has been unkind to me
I have ceased being normal
What is normal
Your name I keep in my heart
Because where else would I take it
Death’s unkindness
Has unlocked emotions
I never thought I would have
I have no name for this kind of pain
Nor do I know how to describe it
There is no explanation possible
For this kind of loss
Loss of my baby boy
My world has shifted
From living
To existence
To getting by

Azariah Nathan
My sweet baby boy
Your name belongs to the Angels now
You rest in everlasting love
How do I lift my eyes to Heaven
And not weep without end
Knowing you are there
Today I fall apart
Tomorrow I collapse
Next day I crumble down
It is my cycle now
Grief is exhausting my soul
Only your name brings me comfort
Baby Azariah Nathan
Release Me from this loneliness