FIVE STAGES OF GRIEVING: DENIAL

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I wish I could skip to Acceptance
But I am stuck
Not believing you are gone
I look at my belly
It seems foreign to me
The concept that you existed inside it
You grew from a small dot
Into a human
I could feel you kick inside me
I cannot believe you were here then you were gone
It is not possible I could be so happy
Then be so destroyed
In the same sentence of life
It is not true
Tell me it is not so
Imagining you were real is hard
Thinking you were part of me strange
You cannot have left me
I will not accept yet
That you will no longer be real
How could it be
When I still feel you move inside me
I can hear you push at my organs
Tug my belly button
With tiny feet as you move about
It cannot be
That I carried you in my belly
Seven and a half months
Now you do not exist on my laps
You have not left
I know you haven’t
I will not accept it

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