SLEEP IN HEAVENLY PEACE

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Your eyes never opened
Now you sleep in your Father’s arms
No more pain for you
You feel no fear in you
Sin didn’t even touch you
You went back
Pure untouched undiluted
Just the way you came
You might not be in my arms
But you are in safe hands
You now sleep in Heavenly peace
My Angel you won’t cry
My Baby you won’t lack
My Boy you won’t break
My Little man you won’t hurt
I miss the moments
I would have had with you
Sleep now my child
In Heavenly peace
In your Father’s bossom
Up there in Heaven
Now your Territory

FAILED INSTINCT

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How did I not know
That you were dying
Inside my belly
Did I then have
A failed instinct

DEAR LITTLE ONE

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You see that sun shinning
You see that moon shying away
You see those clouds gather together
You see that rain fall on the roof
You see those stars form Orion
You see the wind bend down trees
Everything reminds me of you
Every month I held you inside my womb
You saw everything I saw

You smell that morning dew
You smell those blooming roses
You smell fresh rain fall on dry soil
You smell fire burning wood
You smell dry wind filled with dusty particles
You smell chocolate icecream
Every smell reminds me of you
Everyday I hosted you inside my womb
You smelt everything I smelt

You hear birds chirp on a tree
You hear thunder bringing in rain
You hear classic music from the radio
You hear rain fall on the roof
You hear cars in traffic
You hear my voice speak loud
Every sound reminds me of you
Every second I kept you inside my womb
You heard everything I heard

Dear little one
I remember you
In everything
I see I smell I hear

DARKNESS

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I know it has happened
But
My mind will not completely let me in
To a darkness too deep
I may not come back from

RUNNING

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I’m exhausted
Tired of breathing empty
Air that is not okay
Breath that is not fine
I need to stop
Running
Away
From myself
Or my life
Or my loss

I LIVE TO SLOWLY DIE WITHOUT YOU

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I never imagined
What life would be without you
I always imagined
You would be here with me
The thought never occurred to me
That I would no longer
Have you in my arms
So
I never imagined
How it would feel like
If you didn’t exist
I thought I would die if you left me
Yet my heart kept on beating
To forever live with this pain
I didn’t choose
To survive without you
Now I have to exist
Knowing you are no longer here
If love could have saved you
If sacrifice could have kept you
If tears could bring you back
If kisses could make you stay
You would still be alive
I would choose you
Everytime

BABY SHOWER I NEVER HAD

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I sit amidst all of them
Laughter is in the air
I keep thinking
No
I keep imagining
That should have been me
Celebrating you
On your baby shower