BROKEN

I’m taking a break. My heart’s still too broken. I’m starting to have a meltdown.

LOVED

Unconditional-Love

My body Detonated with love
From my heart
To yours
The day you were conveived

OVER

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I feel like my life is over
God please hear my heart’s cry
Help me save my sanity
I know I keep asking instead of just asking once
But my faith has been shaky if not non existent
I need to know that i will be okay
And I will still have my peace at the end of it all
Fear has gripped me so hard
I just dont know what to do anymore
I so want to give up
Yet I still want to fight
See me through this
Because my heart cannot break again
I have made peace with it all
But I still want
I need you to help me Lord
Please help me
Fight these demons of depression

MERCY ME – DEAR YOUNGER ME

Dear younger me
Where do I start
If I could tell you everything that I have learned so far
Then you could be
One step ahead
Of all the painful memories still running thru my head
I wonder how much different things would be
Dear younger me, dear younger me

Dear younger me
I cannot decide
Do I give some speech about how to get the most out of your life
Or do I go deep
And try to change
The choices that you’ll make cuz they’re choices that made me
Even though I love this crazy life
Sometimes I wish it was a smoother ride
Dear younger me, dear younger me

If I knew then what I know now
Condemnation would’ve had no power
My joy my pain would’ve never been my worth
If I knew then what I know now
Would’ve not been hard to figure out
What I would’ve changed if I had heard

Dear younger me
It’s not your fault
You were never meant to carry this beyond the cross
Dear younger me

You are holy
You are righteous
You are one of the redeemed
Set apart a brand new heart
You are free indeed

Every mountain every valley
Thru each heartache you will see
Every moment brings you closer
To who you were meant to be
Dear younger me, dear younger me

You are holy
You are righteous
You are one of the redeemed
Set apart a brand new heart
You are free indeed [x3]

WISH I DIDN’T WAKE UP

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Now I have to live in reality
That you have gone far from my arms
I cannot hold you baby
When I am awake
I only get to do that
When I am sleeping
Those days I have no nightmares

Wish I didn’t wake up
So I can feel your tiny chest on mine
So I can breath in your sweet baby scent
Now I am forced to accept
That you are no longer a reality
I cannot relish your giggles
I cannot enjoy your squirm
I cannot love your colic days

Wish I didn’t wake up
I want to keep dreaming of you
I apologise I could not save you baby
In my dreams you live
In my thoughts you wander about
I fall silent
Because I have no happiness
Knowing you were true once
Now you no longer exist
How is life that unfair
How is love that wasted
I should go back to sleep

SURVIVE

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I will Survive
Through my pain
So tomorrow
I will wake up
With a sense of being present
For now I am lost in oblivion
Disturbed by saddest days
Yet I know
I will survive
Through my pain
So tomorrow
I will get up
With a sense of being alive
For now I am faint in obstinence
Disturbed by hurting days
Yet I know
I will survive
Through my pain
So tomorrow
I will sit up
With a sense of being okay
For now I am stooped in darkness
Disturbed by breaking days
Yet I know
I will survive
Through my pain
So tomorrow
I will rise up
With a sense of being calm
For now I am cropped in heart aches
Disturbed by solitary days
Yet I know
I will survive
Through my pain
So tomorrow
I will heal up completely

ETERNALLY A MOTHER

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You may have lost your child
Through
Miscarriage
Stillbirth
Infant death
Child’s death

Your child may have been
Few weeks
Several months
A few years
Many years old

Your child may have
Died in the womb
Died at birth
Committed suicide
Died in an accident
Coldly murdered
Taken away by sickness

You are eternally a mother
You carried that child
Inside your womb
For however long you
Loved him
Loved her
Before death snatched away
Your reason for existing
You are eternally a mother
It is not just an Impression