TAKING STOCK 6

Goodbye-June-Hello-July

Opening: the Bible
Feeling: anxious
Knowing: five months have already gone without you
Wishing: i could fly
Hoping: tomorrow brings less heavy emotions
Marveling: at the word Moxie
Needing: still love
Watching: the moonless sky it’s 11pm here
Learning: i can move
Loving: still nothing
Admiring: other mothers
Thinking: i don’t want to be here
Wanting: everything
Smelling: dirt
Dreading: sleep
Dreaming: about babies, everyday
Cooking: i baked mug cakes
Making: my mind to stop thinking
Reading: not reading
Drinking: tea
Listening: to Adele’s ‘when we were young’ i don’t know why
Writing: these words on grief poetry
Wondering: what comes next after grief
Following: https://wemenshouldcook.com his food photography is amazing
Eating: rice and beans again
Wearing: blue jeans and a Tee
Creating: bubbles
Regretting: not saying what my hear wanted
Wasting: butter. Obsessively baking. Keeps me from thinking. About him
Noticing: days are going too fast
Giggling: no
Bookmarking: https://grief.com
Hating: that i am empty still

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I MISS BEING PREGNANT

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I keep thinking
You’d be 5 months today
I keep wondering
You’d be smiling today
I keep feeling
When is the pain going away

I miss you in my belly
I miss your kicks in my womb
I miss your stretch in my skin
I miss our hearts beating together
I miss everything
I miss your presence
My belly was Tailored for you
I miss being pregnant