WEEKLY PHOTO CHALLENGE – GROWTH

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grief poetry Growth

Today marks one year since I lost my son through still birth. I can hardly believe that it has been more than 300 days without my boy. Growth for me means that I can find a good moment in a day that is filled with thoughts of what might have been. What would have been the milestones we would have had together. Growth is knowing that I can be okay someday, I never thought I would ever be. Still some nights are spent drenched in tears on my pillow but morning does come.

This photo I took when I went to the village at grandmas. It’s a picture of those really tiny shrubs that grow underneath the grass. It had rained the previous night and you can see spots of dirt stuck inside the flower petals and leaves. To me this photo is just beautiful, the dirt might have stuck to the budding flowers but that’s what makes it imperfectly perfect.

Like these budding blooming flowers I will emerge from this shadows in darkness that has been my grief journey. I will continue to heal and one day I will stand at my son’s grave and actually smile knowing I have become stronger. So cheers to Growth

NOBODY SAID

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Nobody said it would hurt
When your love was not returned
Nobody said it would break you
When he did not love you back
Nobody said it would feel raw
When he never said he loved you
Nobody said it would pain
When he remained silent
Nobody said it would cause chaos
When he did not share your feelings
Nobody said it would drown you
When you loved alone
Nobody said it would end in tears
When he did not hold your heart
Nobody said it would destroy you
When he did not embrace you
Nobody said it would make you hate
When he did not hold your heart
Nobody said it would make you cry
When he did not touch your soul
Nobody said
Nobody ever says
You are left to cry alone
You are left to weep silently
You are left to bare loss
You are left to feel hurt
You are left to writhe pain
You are left holding your heart
You are left tying your shoestring
You are left hugging yourself
When he leaves
Even though
He was never yours

I SHOULD NOT CRY

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I should not cry
My turn to love is not yet
My turn to live is not nigh
To live with love
Is what I seek
Go away you loneliness
Take your leave you sadness
Have a way out
You longing for arms that warm
I should not cry
My turn to hold is not yet
My turn to spend is not near
To live with warmth
Is what I search
Go away you lonesomeness
Have a way out
You yearning for fingers that curl
I should not cry
My turn to wish is not yet
My turn to cherish is not nigh
To live with cozynness
Is what I seek
Go away you lost feeling
Have a way out
You searching for hands that hold
I should not cry