WHERE CAN I LAY

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I lost the will to live
When I lost my baby
Now my heart
It feels like an empty shell
A hollow broken mass
I have no song anymore
Sounds feel like screeching feet
I want to scream aloud
Yet no words are enough
To describe the pain i live with
The pain I inhale
The pain I exhale
What is there to live for
After my baby died
Where can I lay my broken soul
Where can I lay my tired body
Where can I lay my decaying mind
I have nothing
But empty thoughts
Empty empty arms
Where is my child
To heal all the hurt
And unbreak
This already shattered heart of mine

I’M LOOSING MY FIGHT SONG

depression-taking-off-the-mask

I don’t have a lot of fight
Left in me
I feel bottomless
This hollow feeling
Will not leave me be
I am tired of fighting
Fighting demons
Of yester regrets, pain
A lot of pain
Created by the loss of you
My unborn, my Nathan
I feel a heaviness
Words cannot be poured enough
Silence is become louder
Mornings dreaded
Nights welcomed
Because I get to lay down
My emotions of loss
Sleep gives me a kind hope
Hope that my mind will rest
I don’t have
A lot of fight left in me
I can’t fight anymore
I cannot run from myself
Darkness is all I wish for
So my secret tears
Will not be seen
I feel weightless
Like I have nothing left
I miss you my son
It seems deragatory
To even think of not missing you
Are you dancing with Angels
Perhaps you can invite me
I don’t
Have a lot of fight
Left in me

TAKE

depression1

Take me home. She said. I want to stay with my son. Take me home.