YOU SLIP THROUGH MY THOUGHTS

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Every night I dream
Every night I fantasize
That you’re always with me
When you slip through my thoughts
Everday I awake
Everyday I think
That you’re always with me
When you slip through my thoughts
Every moment I wonder
Every moment I tell myself
That you’re always with me
When you slip through my thoughts
Every morning I imagine
Every morning I allow
That you’re always with me
When you slip through my thoughts

To be eight months old
In my arms holding tight
Kissing your little face
Cooing you to sleep

Everytime you slip through my thoughts
I want your presence with me
You got me, you got my heart
A beautiful song I could have sang for you
Such purity you exude
Lyrics of my soul stand out
I want to photograph your memory
Everytime you slip through my thoughts

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SADNESS LIVES HERE

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Sadness has stalked me
Sadness has made me
Sadness has curled me
Sadness has injured me
Sadness has broken me
Yet it still lives here, sadness

Stalked me into sadness
Made me into sadness
Curled me into sadness
Injured me into sadness
Broken me into sadness
Sadness, yet it still lives here

I have nowhere to run or hide
Nowhere to rest my tired heart
How long has it been
That I allowed sadness in
Encroaching in my sanity
I have felt that heaviness
Understood
That sadness
Lives here

DEPRESSION

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i still keep wondering why am here. they are totally tired of me. i know. i feel it. and i hate it.

i still keep thinking why should i be here. they are completely fed up with me. i understand. i sense it. and i loathe it.

i still keep asking why was i here. they are completely done with me. i expect it. i know it. and i hurt it.

ONE YEAR ON – GRIEF POETRY

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8 February marked one year since I started grief poetry. Thank you for all those who have been with me through this journey of finding healing after the loss of my baby boy. Every step I have taken has been a way towards having better days and happy moments. Cheers to 365 days and more 365 days of 2018!

C__Data_Users_DefApps_AppData_INTERNETEXPLORER_Temp_Saved Images_imagesRTV35NY122nd February marks the date my baby should have been born. He’d be turning 1 years old. I still hurt thinking of all those milestones I should have had with my baby boy. It’s still a long journey but maybe one day I will be string enough to remember him without tears filling my eyes…

Lotsa lots of love

grief poetry

👶👄

 

WELLNESS

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Hesitant to allow myself to live
Uncertain that the pain will stop
Unsteadily I cling to memories
Cautious of falling tears that drip
A few Tentative runs
Into the well of wellness
Yet halting without cause
Timid in my thoughts
Faltering in the way I walk away
Shaky grounds threatens
Unsure if I should walk again
Towards wholeness

BROKEN

I’m taking a break. My heart’s still too broken. I’m starting to have a meltdown.

FIRST BIRTHDAY WITHOUT YOU

 

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Today is my birthday baby
How should I celebrate today
When you are not with me
I am to celebrate adding another year
It feels like you gone
Has taken another year from me
I wish you could be there
To say
“Happy Birthday Mother”
All I hear are echoes of my sorrow