I WOKE UP PANICKED

iwl-05-loss-screen

Beads of sweat
Heavy breaths
Pounding heart
Aching soul
Exhausted body
Confused mind
I woke up Panicked
Because you were no longer here

Advertisements

LABRINTH – JEALOUS

I’m jealous of the rain
That falls upon your skin
It’s closer than my hands have been
I’m jealous of the rain
I’m jealous of the wind
That ripples through your clothes
It’s closer than your shadow
Oh, I’m jealous of the wind, ’cause

I wished you the best of
All this world could give
And I told you when you left me
There’s nothing to forgive
But I always thought you’d come back, tell me
All you found was heartbreak and misery
It’s hard for me to say,
I’m jealous of the way
You’re happy without me

I’m jealous of the nights
That I don’t spend with you
I’m wondering who you lay next to
Oh, I’m jealous of the nights
I’m jealous of the love
Love that was in here
Gone for someone else to share
Oh, I’m jealous of the love, ’cause

I wished you the best of
All this world could give
And I told you when you left me
There’s nothing to forgive
But I always thought you’d come back, tell me
All you found was heartbreak and misery
It’s hard for me to say,
I’m jealous of the way
You’re happy without me

As I sink in the sand
Watch you slip through my hands
Oh, as I die here another day
‘Cause all I do is cry behind this smile

I wished you the best of all this world could give
And I told you when you left me
There’s nothing to forgive
But I always thought you’d come back, tell me
All you found was heartbreak and misery
It’s hard for me to say,
I’m jealous of the way
You’re happy without me

It’s hard for me to say,
I’m jealous of the way
You’re happy without me

HEAL

healing

Standing at a cross road
Feet firmly stamped on the ground
Thoughts wondering
Brain questioning
Do I want this
Healing
From the sadness within
If I don’t feel pain
Does it mean I have forgotten you
Or that I have moved on too fast
Do I need this
Healing
To curve its hold on my heart
Make me feel a little better
Will it mean I am completely fine
That I have stopped searching for you
In my dreams
Should I get this
Healing
Will it cause me to smile again
Then feel guilty being happy
Again
Without you my baby
Dear God
I need to Heal
Maybe then my heart will still
My soul will rest
My body will mend

EMOTIONAL BURNOUT

84827-80759

My emotions are burnt out. Smoking in desolation. I have let the pain in. It refuses to let go. I’m not doing fine.

THE STRONG WILLED CHILD

large (3)

I know you were strong
You held on
Inside a space that was your home
You fought hard
To make it through
Everyday of your life inside me
Month after month you grew
Knowing your time on earth
Would start soon
You kicked
To show you were happy
You kicked
To show you were hungry
You kicked
To show you didnt like that food
You kicked
To play in your space
You kicked
When you wanted attention
You kicked
When I placed a hand on your home
You kicked
Just because
A strong willed child you were
You made me stronger than I thought
Your will to be strong
Is making me strong
Now that you are no longer here

GIVE ME A SONG CHILD

sadness_04

My heart has not sung
Since you said goodbye to me
Silently without waking up
You told me you needed to go
Your time on earth had ended
Before it even began
Lost amidst a rhythmless world
Music has stopped synching
With my soul that is silent
Even birds no longer chirp
Crickets do not sing at night
It is a horrible silence my child
My unborn
Everything is deathly calm
Even my mind is too lost inside its own
Night no longer seems silhouette
My ears have not listened to music
As my heart refuses to let beats in
Through my soul that is deadened
I am afraid to listen to music
Because only painful reminders
Abound surrounding my lonely self
What song can I sing
When my body howls like the wolves
Out of rythm because of loss
Your loss child
Has left me without music
Give me a song child
To take away this grieving insanity

SHOULD I BLAME

quotehhhhhhhhhimageslifepainquotes-12ec556957fdd7118d1512b9f1d349bb_h

Should I blame my body
For not fighting for you
When you needed it most
Can I blame my mind
For not staying calm
When you were still growing
May I blame my heart
For not feeling you leave
When you took your last breath
Hard emotions Swarming over my head
I ask why did my body not fight
Or my mind stay calm
Or my heart felt sooner
Should I blame