LOVE KEPT IN A PHOTOGRAPH

MY-BABY

I could have held you
I could have loved you
I could have protected you
I could have taught you
I could have scolded you
I could have bathed you
I could have fed you
I could have kissed you
I could have
I should have
You
Wrapped in a white cotton shawl
Woolen baby cap on your head
Eyes tightly shut
Is that a smile I see
Am I dreaming
To imagine you could still hear me
Felt me holding you
Understand I was in love
With every being of mine
This photograph
Has all the love kept in it
It is everything I have of you
I have pushed myself aside
Trying to think I could have talked to you
Only one photograph
One photograph
I will hold for eternity

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MERRY CHRISTMAS MY BOY

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It’s hard to think
That I don’t have you
This Christmas
Our first christmas
You should have been
In my arms
I should have
Been singing for you gingle bells
I would have
Decorated
The Christmas tree with you
I should have
Baked
Gingerbread cookies with you
Merry Christmas my boy

All I want for Christmas
Is you in my arms
To hold and never let go
To create memories with you
On our first Christmas
Wish you were here with me
Wanted so much for us
The whole world
Should
Have been yours my boy
You would have been
A Joy to the world
Mostly joy to me
Merry Christmas my boy

To many more Christmases
That I will have
You will always be
The best gift I could have had
Merry Christmas my boy
Merry Christmas Nathan

DEAR NATHAN

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Its been a long time since I came to visit you my child. I remember pain and, I don’t want to feel it anymore. I remember tears and, I don’t want to cry anymore. Still I feel that pain and I still cry at the thought of you not being in my arms. My dear departed son, mommy still has all this love that should have been yours. Your cradle to grave story never had a beginning. Only an end that still hurts as hell. Mommy cannot function some days, others I am on over drive trying to burn hurting thoughts. Please say you won’t let go, of my hand. That you will hold me forever. That you will still love me, even when I am angry you left me. I wished to grow old with you, see your generation come to life. I cannot see how this pain will subside. Say you won’t let go, of my heart, that needs you so. Keep me in your thoughts, hold me in your innocence.
Dear Nathan,
Mommy remembers every bit of you. No memory of you will ever fade away. I remember never saying goodbye. I still won’t. Give me strength to be better, to sleep better, to survive better. All I long for is the days I had you inside me. When I felt you kick. When I rubbed my belly and felt your presence. I wish I could turn back time. And feel you again. Know you are deeply rooted inside mommy’s belly. My son, my dear departed son, mommy still loves you, so so much. I had you, then I didn’t. Yet you still are alive in me. I want so much, you being the most of what I want. Say you won’t let go, of mommy’s hand… forever.

PREGNANCY AND INFANT LOSS MONTH

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Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day is a day of remembrance for pregnancy loss and infant death, which includes, however is not limited to, miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, and the death of a newborn.

October 15th
Observed by Federal, Provincial/State, Municipal Government
Liturgical Color Pink and Blue
Significance Recognition and raise awareness of, the prominence of pregnancy loss and infant death with an aim to support families who experience the death of their children and to increase, awareness, remembrance, support programs and services for families who experience bereavement.

Celebrations Lights of Love International Wave of Light
Observances Candle Lighting, Global Illumination Project, Remembrance Walks, Flag Raising, Fundraising Campaigns, Lights of Love International Wave of Light

Begins October 1
Ends October 31
Date October 15
Frequency annually

Related to Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month
October 15 is observed annually in Canada, United States, United Kingdom, Australian States of Western Australia, New South Wales and in Italy. The day is observed with remembrance ceremonies and candle-lighting vigils, concluding with the Lights of Love International Wave of Light, a worldwide lighting of candles that encompasses and spans the globe at 7:00 p.m. (local time)

The official Awareness Colors of the cause are light pink and baby blue and are synonymous with the campaigns awareness ribbon.

History

On October 25, 1988, American President Ronald Reagan designated the entire month of October 1988 as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.

October 15 Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day Campaign began in 2002 as an American movement started by Robyn Bear, Lisa Brown, and Tammy Novak. Together, they petitioned the federal government, as well as the governors of each of the 50 states, in conjunction with the first observation of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day in October 15, 2002, 20 states signed proclamations recognizing the date as such. As a result of the American campaign effort, Concurrent Resolution 222, Supporting the goals and ideals of National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day was passed in the House of Representatives on September 28, 2006.

As of 2016, all 50 American states have yearly proclamations, with Arkansas, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Missouri, New York, Rhode Island, and South Dakota adopting permanent proclamations.

The Founder of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day Canada, also known as PAiL Canada, Terra-Lynn Coggan, joined the American movement in September 2004 and acquired the role as the Canadian Director for October 15 Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day and initiated the Canadian Campaign. Following New Brunswick’s official recognition of October 15 Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, Coggan resigned as the Canadian Director for the American Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day Campaign and independently launched The Pregnancy Loss and Infant Death Awareness Campaign.

Following New Brunswick’s Declaration in observation of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day others have followed Mrs Coggan’s lead and introduced similar Canadian legislation at the provincial and municipal levels in acknowledgement and recognition of October 15.

Article courtesy: Wikipedia

WHY

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Why them
And not me
Why her
And not me
Why me
And not them
Why me
And not her

EIGHT MONTHS

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You were gone in a second
Yet existed inside my womb
Eight months I felt you alive
Eight months I knew you were real
Eight months I had planned for you
Eight months I waited to see you
I wish I had held you longer

You disappeared in a minute
Yet existed in my heart
Eight months I felt your heart beat
Eight months I felt your foot kick
Eight months I felt your turns
Eight months I felt your hiccup
I wish I had felt you longer

You went away in an hour
Yet existed inside my mind
Eight months I spoke to you
Eight months I sang for you
Eight months I read to you
Eight months I laughed with you
I wish I had talked to you longer

You slept forever in a day
Yet existed not in my arms
Eight months I could have loved
Eight months I would have named
Eight months I should have had you
Eight months I will not have with you
I wish I could hold you longer

I MISS BEING PREGNANT

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I keep thinking
You’d be 5 months today
I keep wondering
You’d be smiling today
I keep feeling
When is the pain going away

I miss you in my belly
I miss your kicks in my womb
I miss your stretch in my skin
I miss our hearts beating together
I miss everything
I miss your presence
My belly was Tailored for you
I miss being pregnant