I COME TO YOU WITH A BROKEN FAITH

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I have fallen by the wayside
Lost amidst thoughts of hurt
My pain I have stuffed inside
I have hated that I suffered loss
I never said goodbye
I never said hello
I blamed
I hated
I was angry
Broken with no joy
I thought I knew how to heal
By myself
I wanted to drown
I wanted it to end
Because the loneliness
The sadness
The questions
The not understanding
How a good God would take you away
My soul never wanted to be alive
My mind could not comprehend it all
It seemed unfair
It felt unwarranted
I had you for such a short time
Forever was all I wanted
Then you were gone
And I had nothing
Now
I come to you with a broken faith
I seek not understanding how
I need my heart to heal
I cannot heal my own heart
I cannot touch away the pain
I cannot erase the memories
My faith is broken
Not even cracked
Just broken
I have no strength to mend it
I can only come to you
With this broken faith

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FRACTURED FAITH

Christianity Sorrow Forgiveness Sadness Sad People

I have not been on my knees
I have not said the grace
I have not closed my eyes
I have not whispered
My heart has not sang
My lips have not prayed
My mind has not remembered
My soul refuses to listen
My faith has been fractured
By your loss
I will get back on my knees
I will say the grace again
I will close my eyes once more
I will whisper still
My heart will sing
My lips shall pray
My mind will remember
My soul shall listen
My fractured faith will strengthen
By your Grace Lord

OVER

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I feel like my life is over
God please hear my heart’s cry
Help me save my sanity
I know I keep asking instead of just asking once
But my faith has been shaky if not non existent
I need to know that i will be okay
And I will still have my peace at the end of it all
Fear has gripped me so hard
I just dont know what to do anymore
I so want to give up
Yet I still want to fight
See me through this
Because my heart cannot break again
I have made peace with it all
But I still want
I need you to help me Lord
Please help me
Fight these demons of depression

PSALM 43:19

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“Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert”

King James Version (KJV)

I HAVE LOST

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I have lost faith in myself
I have grown such a fear
Fear of rejection
When you left
Baby when you left
A hole emerged
From the place you said goodbye
What if, I ask
What now, I wonder
How will my pain evolve
Will it break me
Will I be shattered by it

I have already lost faith in myself
I have grown such a dread
Dread of dejection
After you left
Baby after you left
A hollowness emerged
From the place I said goodbye
Where to, I ask
Where now, I wonder
How will my hurt revolve
Will it hurt me
Will I be destroyed by it

I just want to cry
I feel I should cry
So that I stop being afraid
Or being filled with dread
You have left me with only memories
It feels like bricks being thrown at me
Because I have lost
Faith in myself, this Perfumed world

UNBROKEN PRAISE

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Air I breathe
For you breathed life in me
Filled my nostrils with oxygen
That flows in my blood to keep me alive
I am made in your wondorous works
Jehovah is your name
El shaddai describes you
Addonai is you personified
You are my eternal provider
I praise you LORD
Being the sole reason for my existence
You have given me beauty beyond measure
The sun never stops smiling for me
Moonlight guides me at night
Dear GOD you are everything to me
Your presence is why I am still alive
Your Grace keeps me safe even when I don’t deserve it
I lift my hands to praise you
Knees on the ground to worship you
I am nothing but a speck of dust in your eyes
I give you my unbroken praise
For you have made me a writer

Strength I have
You have strengthened me with your love
Light that guides me comforts my tears
My sins you forgive and embrace me again
Rain falls on both sinner and saint
Earth provides food for me in every season
LORD you protect me from enemies’ arrows
Life has been beautiful every day of my life
I lift your Name high
Be magnified above all creations
I worship you for your goodness
I praise you for your incredible kindness
I give you my unbroken praise
For you have made me a woman

Joy I have
You have joyed in my salvation
I seek your knowledge in wisdom
Walking these lonely paths
I know your presence never leaves
Dear GOD I marvel at your patience with me
I am weak, only human
Yet you walk with me even when I go into darkness
Praise to you will not cease from my lips
I will worship you until my dying days
Father you know my secret pains
You understand I need your Hand to be in mine
So I can escape the valley of the shadow of death
Arms outstretched towards Heaven
I stand in awe of you LORD
Keep me safe I plead
Wash me of my iniquities I beseech thee
Teach me patience
I give you my unbroken praise
For you have made me perfect in Your Eyes

WE SHALL CONGREGATE

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For the lost souls at war
Each life lost without cause
Fear that led to hatred
Misunderstandings
Conflicts of the mind
We shall congregate
So they are not forgotten
Those that died before birth
Forced out of their mother’s womb
Lived less than they should have
A capital on its death bed
Rings of suffocation
Highways leading to mistakes
We shall congregate
So they live in our memories
Those unfairly plucked from society
Homelessness that wrecked them
Loneliness of a dimmed mind
Cold hardened cement
Shivers of malaria destroying hope
A city on a continuos spiral
Premature living to the end
We shall congregate
For everyone who fails from education
Led to believe function is in the mind
Those that took their life away
Feeling failures at life
Lost in the whirlwind of expectations
Determined fate before dreams
All lives ended too soon
For society that gains without giving
Yearnings only for acceptance
We shall congregate
For each heart that was hurt
Mothers that lost sons, daughters
Husbands that lost wives
Wives that lost husbands
Sisters that lost brothers
Brothers that lost sisters
Those that felt senselessly alone
We shall congregate
Light our white candles in hand
Say a prayer for each one gone
We shall congregate
Like soldiers at a 21 gun salute