FRACTURED FAITH

Christianity Sorrow Forgiveness Sadness Sad People

I have not been on my knees
I have not said the grace
I have not closed my eyes
I have not whispered
My heart has not sang
My lips have not prayed
My mind has not remembered
My soul refuses to listen
My faith has been fractured
By your loss
I will get back on my knees
I will say the grace again
I will close my eyes once more
I will whisper still
My heart will sing
My lips shall pray
My mind will remember
My soul shall listen
My fractured faith will strengthen
By your Grace Lord

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OVER THE FENCE

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Over the fence
Lies a blurry image of you
Who you were
When you came into this world
Who you were
When you left this world
I want to reach over
Touch what your memory has left
Over the fence

LABRINTH – JEALOUS

I’m jealous of the rain
That falls upon your skin
It’s closer than my hands have been
I’m jealous of the rain
I’m jealous of the wind
That ripples through your clothes
It’s closer than your shadow
Oh, I’m jealous of the wind, ’cause

I wished you the best of
All this world could give
And I told you when you left me
There’s nothing to forgive
But I always thought you’d come back, tell me
All you found was heartbreak and misery
It’s hard for me to say,
I’m jealous of the way
You’re happy without me

I’m jealous of the nights
That I don’t spend with you
I’m wondering who you lay next to
Oh, I’m jealous of the nights
I’m jealous of the love
Love that was in here
Gone for someone else to share
Oh, I’m jealous of the love, ’cause

I wished you the best of
All this world could give
And I told you when you left me
There’s nothing to forgive
But I always thought you’d come back, tell me
All you found was heartbreak and misery
It’s hard for me to say,
I’m jealous of the way
You’re happy without me

As I sink in the sand
Watch you slip through my hands
Oh, as I die here another day
‘Cause all I do is cry behind this smile

I wished you the best of all this world could give
And I told you when you left me
There’s nothing to forgive
But I always thought you’d come back, tell me
All you found was heartbreak and misery
It’s hard for me to say,
I’m jealous of the way
You’re happy without me

It’s hard for me to say,
I’m jealous of the way
You’re happy without me

SUNLESS GARDEN IN MY HEART

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Life will not cease being amazing
Though you have left me here
I am not alone anywhere
Your memories keep me alive
The little memory of you
Holds on so tight in my heart
My soul rejoices
Because you were put inside me
You grew and became strong
Inside my frail humanity
I was trusted to care for you
Until your time to peek at the world came
I protected you as much as I could
Loved you instantly
Without any reserve or conditions or Denial

Life will not cease being beautiful
Though I have cried for you child
I know you cry for me too
For the moments we could have shared
Each laughter we would have adorned
For every kiss I would have given you
All the embraces I should have partook
You held them back in your heart

I know your heart and mine
Are ever present in each other’s subconcious
I know you know me as your mother
You loved me too maybe more than I could
Your tiny embrace you would give
Your presence baby
Is never gone from me
Even as my heart feels like a sunless garden

I WILL BE PRUDENT IN MY HEALING

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Healing will come
When everything else is silent
When no one talks of memories
When they all move on
I will be prudent in my healing
Waiting upon it like a light source
Dreaming upon it like a life line
Wasting not
Wanting not
I will stand still and wait for it
That moment that healing will come
When tears will only be for laughter
When ribs will ache
Because I laughed so loud
At happy moments
And serene times
Healing find me
Take me to the pool of okay
When fine will not just be a word
Playing in my stubborn mind
This healing must come
Since I choose to be Prudent in my healing

A NEW SADNESS

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A new sadness that lives in me
Feels like it will not go away
This sadness i’ve never known
A sadness so deep inside
An unknown sadness
That sadness that evolved
Created a strange sadness
Filling my heart with sadness undiluted
An old sadness
Resurrected by a new sadness of loss
Sadness will not leave me
Inside my soul that bleeds sadness
Every sadness I ever felt
Moulded into a deeper sadness
Bargaining sadness for healing
Remembering every sadness felt
Feeling every sadness known
This new sadness
That lives inside me

HEART PALPITATIONS

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My chest is paining
My heart is aching
To the point of insanity