SADNESS LIVES HERE

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Sadness has stalked me
Sadness has made me
Sadness has curled me
Sadness has injured me
Sadness has broken me
Yet it still lives here, sadness

Stalked me into sadness
Made me into sadness
Curled me into sadness
Injured me into sadness
Broken me into sadness
Sadness, yet it still lives here

I have nowhere to run or hide
Nowhere to rest my tired heart
How long has it been
That I allowed sadness in
Encroaching in my sanity
I have felt that heaviness
Understood
That sadness
Lives here

GIVE ME A SONG CHILD

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My heart has not sung
Since you said goodbye to me
Silently without waking up
You told me you needed to go
Your time on earth had ended
Before it even began
Lost amidst a rhythmless world
Music has stopped synching
With my soul that is silent
Even birds no longer chirp
Crickets do not sing at night
It is a horrible silence my child
My unborn
Everything is deathly calm
Even my mind is too lost inside its own
Night no longer seems silhouette
My ears have not listened to music
As my heart refuses to let beats in
Through my soul that is deadened
I am afraid to listen to music
Because only painful reminders
Abound surrounding my lonely self
What song can I sing
When my body howls like the wolves
Out of rythm because of loss
Your loss child
Has left me without music
Give me a song child
To take away this grieving insanity

THE PART OF ME THAT DIED

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I sit in the middle of this sofa
As if the edges would hurt me more
How did it get to this
How did life suddenly turn its back on me
Life I listened to with both ears
I even laughed trying to edge out pain
This sofa seeming to be my only reality
I have sunk deeper into depression
Curled around my naked chest
That beats to a hollow sadness
Aaaaah sadness, I have invented sadness
Deep throated, deep seated sadness
I am upside down on this earth
Looking at the world from a bottomless pit
I have loved immensely
Been broken too many times I forget
What do I want of this world
Where am I to go for peace
The part of me that died
Is that part that loved too much
Loved too much the wrong kind of love
That part that believed humanity is kind
That part that believed they would not leave
I have died even when I didn’t know it
I am that crow resting on the grave stone
Even that part of me died
So I leave this earth

(For anyone who’s ever lost a loved one through Suicide. I can only imagine the sadness the victim must have felt.)