FRACTURED FAITH

Christianity Sorrow Forgiveness Sadness Sad People

I have not been on my knees
I have not said the grace
I have not closed my eyes
I have not whispered
My heart has not sang
My lips have not prayed
My mind has not remembered
My soul refuses to listen
My faith has been fractured
By your loss
I will get back on my knees
I will say the grace again
I will close my eyes once more
I will whisper still
My heart will sing
My lips shall pray
My mind will remember
My soul shall listen
My fractured faith will strengthen
By your Grace Lord

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A NOTORIOUS ACHE

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Nothing is ever the same
Nothing has ever been the same
Everything is ever changing
Everything has ever changed
I feel
A notorious ache
In my heart

Something is ever gone
Something has ever been going
One thing is ever remaining
One thing has ever remained
I feel
A notorious ache
In my mind

Loosing you my baby
Feels like
A notorious ache
That will not go away
From my brokenness within
This Notorious ache
In my heart
In my mind
Refuses to let me be

I WOKE UP PANICKED

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Beads of sweat
Heavy breaths
Pounding heart
Aching soul
Exhausted body
Confused mind
I woke up Panicked
Because you were no longer here

LABRINTH – JEALOUS

I’m jealous of the rain
That falls upon your skin
It’s closer than my hands have been
I’m jealous of the rain
I’m jealous of the wind
That ripples through your clothes
It’s closer than your shadow
Oh, I’m jealous of the wind, ’cause

I wished you the best of
All this world could give
And I told you when you left me
There’s nothing to forgive
But I always thought you’d come back, tell me
All you found was heartbreak and misery
It’s hard for me to say,
I’m jealous of the way
You’re happy without me

I’m jealous of the nights
That I don’t spend with you
I’m wondering who you lay next to
Oh, I’m jealous of the nights
I’m jealous of the love
Love that was in here
Gone for someone else to share
Oh, I’m jealous of the love, ’cause

I wished you the best of
All this world could give
And I told you when you left me
There’s nothing to forgive
But I always thought you’d come back, tell me
All you found was heartbreak and misery
It’s hard for me to say,
I’m jealous of the way
You’re happy without me

As I sink in the sand
Watch you slip through my hands
Oh, as I die here another day
‘Cause all I do is cry behind this smile

I wished you the best of all this world could give
And I told you when you left me
There’s nothing to forgive
But I always thought you’d come back, tell me
All you found was heartbreak and misery
It’s hard for me to say,
I’m jealous of the way
You’re happy without me

It’s hard for me to say,
I’m jealous of the way
You’re happy without me

HEAL

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Standing at a cross road
Feet firmly stamped on the ground
Thoughts wondering
Brain questioning
Do I want this
Healing
From the sadness within
If I don’t feel pain
Does it mean I have forgotten you
Or that I have moved on too fast
Do I need this
Healing
To curve its hold on my heart
Make me feel a little better
Will it mean I am completely fine
That I have stopped searching for you
In my dreams
Should I get this
Healing
Will it cause me to smile again
Then feel guilty being happy
Again
Without you my baby
Dear God
I need to Heal
Maybe then my heart will still
My soul will rest
My body will mend

EMOTIONAL BURNOUT

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My emotions are burnt out. Smoking in desolation. I have let the pain in. It refuses to let go. I’m not doing fine.

THE STRONG WILLED CHILD

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I know you were strong
You held on
Inside a space that was your home
You fought hard
To make it through
Everyday of your life inside me
Month after month you grew
Knowing your time on earth
Would start soon
You kicked
To show you were happy
You kicked
To show you were hungry
You kicked
To show you didnt like that food
You kicked
To play in your space
You kicked
When you wanted attention
You kicked
When I placed a hand on your home
You kicked
Just because
A strong willed child you were
You made me stronger than I thought
Your will to be strong
Is making me strong
Now that you are no longer here