WISH YOU COULD HAVE CALLED ME MOTHER

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Mother

Mom

Mama

Words so powerful

Heavy with emotion

Glue to every strength

A force that holds hearts

I should have been that

For you my child

I wanted to be everything and more

I wanted to be yours

Your mother

Wish you could have

Called me mother

Eight months

Was all you had

In mommy’s tummy

Every moment

I knew who you were

Every kick

I knew where you were

Every heart beat

I knew what you were

Wish you could have

Called me

Mother

Mom

Mama

 

THIS PAIN

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I have so much pain
That I don’t
Know what to do with it

SURVIVE

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I will Survive
Through my pain
So tomorrow
I will wake up
With a sense of being present
For now I am lost in oblivion
Disturbed by saddest days
Yet I know
I will survive
Through my pain
So tomorrow
I will get up
With a sense of being alive
For now I am faint in obstinence
Disturbed by hurting days
Yet I know
I will survive
Through my pain
So tomorrow
I will sit up
With a sense of being okay
For now I am stooped in darkness
Disturbed by breaking days
Yet I know
I will survive
Through my pain
So tomorrow
I will rise up
With a sense of being calm
For now I am cropped in heart aches
Disturbed by solitary days
Yet I know
I will survive
Through my pain
So tomorrow
I will heal up completely

I HATE GOODBYE

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I had yet to say hello
Still I had to say goodbye
I hate goodbyes
Final words
That should not be said
When you left
After you left
I cannot say goodbye yet
Because I hate it

TARA WATKINS ANDERSON QUOTE

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“The strongest person in the world is a grieving mother that wakes up and keeps going every morning”

Tara Watkins Anderson Jolt

SUNLESS GARDEN IN MY HEART

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Life will not cease being amazing
Though you have left me here
I am not alone anywhere
Your memories keep me alive
The little memory of you
Holds on so tight in my heart
My soul rejoices
Because you were put inside me
You grew and became strong
Inside my frail humanity
I was trusted to care for you
Until your time to peek at the world came
I protected you as much as I could
Loved you instantly
Without any reserve or conditions or Denial

Life will not cease being beautiful
Though I have cried for you child
I know you cry for me too
For the moments we could have shared
Each laughter we would have adorned
For every kiss I would have given you
All the embraces I should have partook
You held them back in your heart

I know your heart and mine
Are ever present in each other’s subconcious
I know you know me as your mother
You loved me too maybe more than I could
Your tiny embrace you would give
Your presence baby
Is never gone from me
Even as my heart feels like a sunless garden

BROKEN WOMB

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That hollow spot on your body
Speaks of an anguish
That cannot be consoled
A selfish need
To cry all the tears of the century
That space, deep dark space
Left by a life ended too soon
The life of a child
Lost in the abys of death
Life clawed away by unexplained reasons
That empty dent on your belly
Tells of grief beyond comprehension
A story truly harsh
Cannot be recounted without cries
Speaks of a desire to wither away
A tainted need
To curl into a foetal position
Never to wake up again
Your broken womb
Speaks of nothing but your hurt
Everything hurts
Even the heart hurts more
Looking down at an empty womb
Staring back at you
With no mercy
That part of you that died
Yet needing a Healer
To mend that broken womb