NOBODY SAID

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Nobody said it would hurt
When your love was not returned
Nobody said it would break you
When he did not love you back
Nobody said it would feel raw
When he never said he loved you
Nobody said it would pain
When he remained silent
Nobody said it would cause chaos
When he did not share your feelings
Nobody said it would drown you
When you loved alone
Nobody said it would end in tears
When he did not hold your heart
Nobody said it would destroy you
When he did not embrace you
Nobody said it would make you hate
When he did not hold your heart
Nobody said it would make you cry
When he did not touch your soul
Nobody said
Nobody ever says
You are left to cry alone
You are left to weep silently
You are left to bare loss
You are left to feel hurt
You are left to writhe pain
You are left holding your heart
You are left tying your shoestring
You are left hugging yourself
When he leaves
Even though
He was never yours

MERRY CHRISTMAS MY BOY

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It’s hard to think
That I don’t have you
This Christmas
Our first christmas
You should have been
In my arms
I should have
Been singing for you gingle bells
I would have
Decorated
The Christmas tree with you
I should have
Baked
Gingerbread cookies with you
Merry Christmas my boy

All I want for Christmas
Is you in my arms
To hold and never let go
To create memories with you
On our first Christmas
Wish you were here with me
Wanted so much for us
The whole world
Should
Have been yours my boy
You would have been
A Joy to the world
Mostly joy to me
Merry Christmas my boy

To many more Christmases
That I will have
You will always be
The best gift I could have had
Merry Christmas my boy
Merry Christmas Nathan

CRADLE TO GRAVE

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He was born
Yet his time had not come
Such a young life
Taken so brutally
Only few months
Until he was to take his first breath
Until he was to make his first cry
How life is so frail
An abundance of innocence
Inside a soul that was too raw
His story
From cradle to grave
Was short-lived
He had not even began one chapter
Yet his last chapter was already spelt
Unwritten memories
Were all he left
Unsaid words
Were all he had not
Unheard laughter
Were all that echoed
Promises of eternal love
Promises of forever bliss
Broken
Amidst his cradle to grave story
His life
So short lived
Yet forever changed my own
A forever memory
Etched deep inside my consciousness
I will hold you
When nobody else could
His cradle to grave story
Mine to relive
Until our hearts be mended again

WHEN THAT MOMENT COMES

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When that moment comes
I want to be in love again
I want to know warmth
I want to feel heat
From cold winter nights

When that moment comes
I want to be loved again
I want to know closeness
I want to feel fire
From cold autumn days

When that moment comes
I want to love again
I want to know embraces
I want to feel bliss
From cold summer mornings

When that moment comes
I want to share love again
I want to know wildness
I want to feel kissed
From cold spring afternoons

COULD YOU TAKE CARE OF A BROKEN SOUL

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If I come to you now
With all this hurt I carry
All these regrets that haunt
All emotions that are harsh
Every pain I have held onto
Could you
Take care
Of a broken soul

If I found you now
With all this pain I carry
All these thoughts that follow
All feelings that are crude
Every fear I have held onto
Could you
Take care
Of a broken soul

If I rang you now
With all this burden I hold
All these nightmares that claw
All rumblings that are rough
Every heartbreak I have held onto
Could you
Take care
Of a broken soul

If I called you now
With all this weight I hold
All these memories that burn
All whispers that are raw
Every grief I have held onto
Could you
Take care
Of a broken soul

Could you
Take care
Of a broken soul

If I come to you now
If I found you now
If I rang you now
If I called you now

With all this hurt I carry
With all this pain I carry
With all this burden I hold
With all this weight I hold

All these regrets that haunt
All these thoughts that follow
All these nightmares that claw
All these memories that burn

All emotions that are harsh
All feelings that are crude
All rumblings that are rough
All whispers that are raw

Every pain I have held onto
Every fear I have held onto
Every heartbreak I have held onto
Every grief I have held onto

Could you
Take care
Of a broken soul

I COME TO YOU WITH A BROKEN FAITH

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I have fallen by the wayside
Lost amidst thoughts of hurt
My pain I have stuffed inside
I have hated that I suffered loss
I never said goodbye
I never said hello
I blamed
I hated
I was angry
Broken with no joy
I thought I knew how to heal
By myself
I wanted to drown
I wanted it to end
Because the loneliness
The sadness
The questions
The not understanding
How a good God would take you away
My soul never wanted to be alive
My mind could not comprehend it all
It seemed unfair
It felt unwarranted
I had you for such a short time
Forever was all I wanted
Then you were gone
And I had nothing
Now
I come to you with a broken faith
I seek not understanding how
I need my heart to heal
I cannot heal my own heart
I cannot touch away the pain
I cannot erase the memories
My faith is broken
Not even cracked
Just broken
I have no strength to mend it
I can only come to you
With this broken faith

LONELY PAPER

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Just as crumpled Paper
Feels alone, abandoned, confused
So my soul feels this wave of loneliness