Nobody said it would hurt
When your love was not returned
Nobody said it would break you
When he did not love you back
Nobody said it would feel raw
When he never said he loved you
Nobody said it would pain
When he remained silent
Nobody said it would cause chaos
When he did not share your feelings
Nobody said it would drown you
When you loved alone
Nobody said it would end in tears
When he did not hold your heart
Nobody said it would destroy you
When he did not embrace you
Nobody said it would make you hate
When he did not hold your heart
Nobody said it would make you cry
When he did not touch your soul
Nobody said
Nobody ever says
You are left to cry alone
You are left to weep silently
You are left to bare loss
You are left to feel hurt
You are left to writhe pain
You are left holding your heart
You are left tying your shoestring
You are left hugging yourself
When he leaves
Even though
He was never yours



I have fallen by the wayside
Lost amidst thoughts of hurt
My pain I have stuffed inside
I have hated that I suffered loss
I never said goodbye
I never said hello
I blamed
I hated
I was angry
Broken with no joy
I thought I knew how to heal
By myself
I wanted to drown
I wanted it to end
Because the loneliness
The sadness
The questions
The not understanding
How a good God would take you away
My soul never wanted to be alive
My mind could not comprehend it all
It seemed unfair
It felt unwarranted
I had you for such a short time
Forever was all I wanted
Then you were gone
And I had nothing
I come to you with a broken faith
I seek not understanding how
I need my heart to heal
I cannot heal my own heart
I cannot touch away the pain
I cannot erase the memories
My faith is broken
Not even cracked
Just broken
I have no strength to mend it
I can only come to you
With this broken faith



Just as crumpled Paper
Feels alone, abandoned, confused
So my soul feels this wave of loneliness



My baby Azariah’s laughter
Blossoming in my heart
Only to be revealed in my dreams



I haven’t walked through my heart
I haven’t listened to it beat
I have not whispered to it
Like an unkempt garden
Totally abandoned
That it grows weeds
So have I left my heart
To fend for itself
Without hope
Or the will to breath
I have left it alone without a gardener
This garden that was once blooming
With hopes of only smiles
Now seats with withered leaves
Scattered on the ground
Dried branches
Seeking to be free of forceful living
Ailing for the loss
Of one of its blooming flowers
A flower plucked away too soon
Who will tend to this garden
That has been lost
Abandoned and neglected
Before the last petal falls to the red earth