WISH YOU COULD HAVE CALLED ME MOTHER

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Mother

Mom

Mama

Words so powerful

Heavy with emotion

Glue to every strength

A force that holds hearts

I should have been that

For you my child

I wanted to be everything and more

I wanted to be yours

Your mother

Wish you could have

Called me mother

Eight months

Was all you had

In mommy’s tummy

Every moment

I knew who you were

Every kick

I knew where you were

Every heart beat

I knew what you were

Wish you could have

Called me

Mother

Mom

Mama

 

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NOBODY SAID

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Nobody said it would hurt
When your love was not returned
Nobody said it would break you
When he did not love you back
Nobody said it would feel raw
When he never said he loved you
Nobody said it would pain
When he remained silent
Nobody said it would cause chaos
When he did not share your feelings
Nobody said it would drown you
When you loved alone
Nobody said it would end in tears
When he did not hold your heart
Nobody said it would destroy you
When he did not embrace you
Nobody said it would make you hate
When he did not hold your heart
Nobody said it would make you cry
When he did not touch your soul
Nobody said
Nobody ever says
You are left to cry alone
You are left to weep silently
You are left to bare loss
You are left to feel hurt
You are left to writhe pain
You are left holding your heart
You are left tying your shoestring
You are left hugging yourself
When he leaves
Even though
He was never yours

DREAMLESS MEDDLE

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Memories Meddled in my dreams
Thoughts of you haunt me
Your tiny fingers
Your little toes
Your miniature nose
All I never got to play with
I will never know the joy of embracing you
Or kissing your cheek goodnight
My memories are muddled with regret
Closely huddled by anger
Nightly cradled in nightmares
Hurt is meddling with my dreams
Dreams of a future I hoped for
For such is my deep pain
Pain that cannot be erased
Erased so that healing can begin
Begin from this point of wishes
Wishes that come undone
It’s a restless meddle

FIRST BIRTHDAY WITHOUT YOU

 

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Today is my birthday baby
How should I celebrate today
When you are not with me
I am to celebrate adding another year
It feels like you gone
Has taken another year from me
I wish you could be there
To say
“Happy Birthday Mother”
All I hear are echoes of my sorrow

HEART PALPITATIONS

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My chest is paining
My heart is aching
To the point of insanity

MAYBE JUST MAYBE

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Maybe I’m in the wrong job
Maybe I’m in the wrong marriage
Maybe I’m in the wrong house
Maybe I’m in the wrong route
Maybe I’m in the wrong company
Maybe I’m in the wrong heart
Maybe I’m in the wrong land
Maybe I’m in the wrong bed
Maybe I’m in the wrong arms
Maybe I’m in the wrong love
Maybe I’m in the wrong family
Maybe I’m in the wrong chapter
Maybe I’m in the wrong color
Maybe I’m in the wrong account
Maybe I’m in the wrong friendship
Maybe I’m in the wrong crowd
Maybe I’m in the wrong shift
Maybe I’m in the wrong drink
Maybe I’m in the wrong song
Maybe I’m in the wrong language
Maybe I’m in the wrong season
Maybe I’m in the wrong Ocean
Maybe I’m in the wrong break
Maybe I’m in the wrong basket
Maybe I’m in the wrong
Maybe
Just maybe

I WANT TO DISAPPEAR WITH THE DUST

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Wind seems so free
Blowing every direction it wills
Creating breezes out of its breath
No one can catch the wind
None can contain the wind
Master of its own destiny
Wind so fast, so slow
Everything it carries goes up
I want to disappear with the dust
Dust which the wind blows away
I want to float amidst the wind
See the earth below
Know I am free in the blue sky
I feel empty and light
So wind will carry me so effortlesssly
If I disappear with the dust
None will search for me below
I will be free to soar with eagles
Land in unknown places
Where my heart yearns to be