A PART OF ME HAS DIED

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Even though a part of me has died
I have few memories I hold dear
Breathing is all I can do
Even though pain is deep
Eyes pinching with tears
I need to come back to life
My arms open wide
To hold a child non existent
Overcome by so much grief
Will my scars be understood
Questions keep fading away

Even though a part of me has died
I am left with few moments I keep close
Breathing everything I know to do
Even though suffering is still deep
Eyes dancing with tears
I have to bring back my life
My arms closed on my chest
To hold my heart empty without child
Overcome by so much emptiness
Will scars speak for themselves
Questions keep bouncing back to me

Even though a part of me had died
A Temporary pain I must endure
Remembering he came for a purpose
My child that is no more
A season that has refused to end

WESTLIFE – US AGAINST THE WORLD

Us against the world
Against the world
Us against the world
Against the world

You and I, we’ve been at it so long
I still got the strongest fire
You and I, we still know how to talk
Know how to walk that wire

Sometimes I feel like The world is against me
The sound of your voice, baby
That’s what saves me
When we’re together I feel so invincible

Cause it’s us against the world
You and me against them all
If you listen to these words
Know that we are standing tall
I don’t ever see the day that
I won’t catch you when you fall
Cause it’s us against the world tonight

Us against the world
Against the world

There’ll be days
We’ll be on different sides but
That doesn’t last too long
We find ways to get it on track
And know how to turn back on

Sometimes I feel
I can’t keep it together
Then you hold me close
And you make it better
When I’m with you
I can feel so unbreakable

Cause it’s us against the world
You and me against them all
If you listen to these words
Know that we are standing tall
I don’t ever see the day that
I won’t catch you when you fall
Cause it’s us against the world tonight

We’re not gonna break
Cause we both still believe
We know what we’ve got
And we’ve got what we need alright
We’re doing something right…

Cause it’s us against the world
You and me against them all
If you listen to these words
Know that we are standing tall
I don’t ever see the day that
I won’t catch you when you fall
Cause it’s us against the world tonight

Us against the world
You and me against them all
If you listen to these words
Know that we are standing tall
I don’t ever see the day that
I won’t catch you when you fall
Us against the world
Yeah it’s Us against the world, baby
Us against the world
Tonight

Us against the world
Against the world
Us against the world

FIRST HOLIDAY WITHOUT YOU

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It’s Easter
My first holiday without you
This was to be
A first
Of many firsts
Now I just wish it to be over
So I don’t have to drown
In what if’s
Maybe’s
First holiday without you
It’s Easter

LATELY I HAVE LOST MY CONFIDENCE

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I used to be happy
Maybe not completely
But I was happy
You were going to be part of my life
After I lost you
I don’t know
How to be happy anymore
I don’t know
Who I am anymore
My confidence is no more
I am afraid of rejection
So I don’t go out
To meet people or life
I never know what to do anymore
Lately baby
I have no grasp of what
A good day is
It all seems like a blur
It…
Your death
Changed my perception of what is fair
Created this fear in me
That I will lose more than myself
My confidence is no more
You were me
Now you are gone
Who am I

POUR INK INTO MY HURT

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I feel I am unravelling
Completely worn out by this ache
An empty shitty ache
That will not allow me to curse out loud
The threads of my soul
Slowly unravelling so fast
I am left naked with too much sorrow
When you pour ink into my hurt
All you will find are words
Words that do not rhyme
Make sense
Or even exist in the alphabet
My hurt writes itself
Draws vividly unsaid sentiments
Emotions that rock my now silent wail
Cries that are only heard by my pillow
I ache for you my son
Listening to my heart beat alone
I keep Unravelling moments wished for
Blue ink, Black ink, Red Ink
They all write the same thing
My loss of you child

SO ANGRY

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She was so angry
Angry at her love
Angry at her life
Angry at her pain
Angry at her maker
Angry at her loss
Angry at her self
Just angry
So much anger
With no one to sooth it

THIS BLINDING PAIN

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Blindly I sit staring in the present
Still staring at the future
While staring back at the past
Where does the strength come from
Who holds my hand now
As I walk through blinding pain