Product Description
Part of the 5-star book series, Grief Diaries: Surviving Loss of a Pregnancy features the stories of mothers seeking to find hope and healing in the aftermath of losing first, second, and third trimester pregnancies and stillbirths. Offering 18 firsthand accounts, readers who share the same path will find comfort and compassion, family and friends will gain better understanding, and professionals will appreciate the rich spectrum of journeys narrated by writers from around the world. Learn more at A portion of proceeds from the retail sales of this book is donated to Sufficient Grace Ministries.

“VITAL . . . Grief Diaries: Surviving Loss of a Pregnancy gives voice to the thousands of women who face this painful journey every day. Often alone in their time of need, these stories will play a vital role in surrounding each reader with warmth and comfort as they seek understanding and healing in the aftermath of their own loss.” -JENNIFER CLARKE, obstetrical R.N., Perinatal Bereavement Committee at AMITA Health Adventist Medical Center, founder of Baby Jasmine’s Angel Nursery and advocate of CuddleCots “HEALING . . . Grief Diaries: Surviving Loss of a Pregnancy gives voice to a grief so private, most women bear it alone. These diaries of pregnancy loss can heal hearts and begin to build community and acceptance to speak the unspeakable, to acknowledge each pregnancy loss and the child that would have been. Share this book with your sisters, mothers, grandmothers and friends who have faced the grief of pregnancy loss. Pour a cup of tea together and know that you are no longer alone.” -DIANNA VIAGIANOS ARMENTROUT, Poetry Therapist & Author

About the Author
LYNDA CHELDELIN FELL is an emotional healing expert, award-winning & international bestselling author, and a pioneering visionary dedicated to raising awareness and shedding insight on relevant and stigmatized issues. She is the creator of the 5-star book series Grief Diaries featuring true stories about ordinary people finding healing and hope in the face of extraordinary journeys. Lynda has facilitated community vigils, authored over 18 books and has interviewed Dr. Martin Luther King’s daughter, Trayvon Martin’s mother, sisters of the late Nicole Brown Simpson; Pastor Todd Burpo of Heaven is For Real, CNN commentator Dr. Ken Druck, and other societal newsmakers on finding healing and hope in the aftermath of life challenges. She is a national commentator for multiple news publications, CEO of AlyBlue Media, and board president of the National Grief & Hope Coalition. Learn more at JENNIFER CLARKE is an obstetrical R.N. and a member of the Perinatal Bereavement Committee at AMITA Health Adventist Medical Center in Bolingbrook, Illinois. She created Baby Jasmine’s Angel Nursery, and raises funds to donate CuddleCots to hospitals nationwide. STEPHANIE MALCOLM and her husband of almost seventeen years have seven young children. Aside from being a busy mother and wife, she volunteers at her children’s school and is passionate about ministering to mothers who have lost a child.



I know it has happened
My mind will not completely let me in
To a darkness too deep
I may not come back from



I wish I could skip to Acceptance
But I am stuck
Not believing you are gone
I look at my belly
It seems foreign to me
The concept that you existed inside it
You grew from a small dot
Into a human
I could feel you kick inside me
I cannot believe you were here then you were gone
It is not possible I could be so happy
Then be so destroyed
In the same sentence of life
It is not true
Tell me it is not so
Imagining you were real is hard
Thinking you were part of me strange
You cannot have left me
I will not accept yet
That you will no longer be real
How could it be
When I still feel you move inside me
I can hear you push at my organs
Tug my belly button
With tiny feet as you move about
It cannot be
That I carried you in my belly
Seven and a half months
Now you do not exist on my laps
You have not left
I know you haven’t
I will not accept it



Somehow I have not forgiven
Somewhat I have not forgotten
Somewhere I have not foreclosed
Sometimes I still ache
Sometimes I still hate
Sometimes I still grate
I always feel this loss
I always seal this moss
I always teal this boss
I guess
I have unprocessed grief
Somehow I have not let go
Somewhat I have not let rest
Somewhere I have not let down
Sometimes I will speak
Sometimes I will grunt
Sometimes I will groan
I always want healing
I always want embracing
I always want comforting
I guess
I have unprocessed grief



Oh Lord filter my thoughts
So do I not give in to this depression
I feel grief engulfing me
Without mercy
Heartache covering my reality
Without consideration
Tears flooding my eyes
Without a care in the world
Filter my thoughts
So they do not end me
Give me strength
To bear the sorrow
And beat this sadness
My thoughts cannot swallow me whole
Even when I let them torture me
With memories that should have been
Memories that could have been created
And memories that were lost
At the beginning of birthing



A mother is supposed to
Believe everything will be fine
Even if it is not
A mother is supposed to
Have Faith
Even when there is none
A mother is supposed to
Love unconditionally
Even if there is no love
A mother is supposed to
Pray continuously
Even when there is no need
A mother is supposed to
Discipline regardless
Even when it hurts her more
A mother is supposed to
Care uncontrollably
Even when she is hurting
A mother is a mother
Whether she bore her children or not
Even when the child is unborn
She is still a mother