Is what I would have loved you
Now I am Climbing over
Walls of my grief
Trying to get to the other side



They say there is a reason…

They say that time will heal. But neither time nor reason. Will change the way I feel. For no one knows the heartache. That lies behind our smiles. No one knows how many times. We have broken down and cried. We want to tell you something. So there won’t be any doubt. You’re so wonderful to think of. But so hard to be without.

Author unknown



Those words still haunt me
Words my mind yearns to forget
My heart needs to erase
My soul collapsed when those words were uttered
Life quickly ebbed out of me
My breath stuck in my throat
Such pain I have never known before
What happened
Why did it happen
When did it happen
Questions exploded in my mind
My heart beat was silent
Quiet moment of contemplation
Do I want to still beat again
When my other heart is none existent
How can so much love exist in a heart
Then be taken away
Take me home please



Dont criticize me
When I still cry for my baby
When I still ask why
When I still refuse to speak
When I still cannot eat
When I still drown in sorrow
My baby left me
So don’t criticize

Don’t criticize me
If I cannot explain my tears
If I cannot complain to you
If I cannot have your company
If I cannot laugh with you
If I cannot see you near me
My baby left me
So don’t criticize

Don’t criticize me
How I choose to mourn
How I choose to remember
How I choose to lash out
How I choose to sleep
How I choose to live in pain
My baby left me
So don’t Criticize



I never got to give you your name
I never got to call your name
I never got to hear your name called
Your name is what I am left with
A name that had such great meaning
The name of a warrior
The name of a Prince
The name of my boy
Your name meant so much to me
A name I knew
You would be proud of
A name I knew
You would love
My little batman
That was your play name
Because you were my hero
You saved me
You built me
You loved me
You made me glow
You held me together
You danced for me, in my belly
Made me stronger than I knew I was
Now your name sits
In the deep wounded places of my heart
Places I dare not venture
Or peek into
Lest I never come back from
My heart
Has such deep wounded places
Perforated with memories I never had
Drowned in moments I wish I had
With you
Trying to squint at the sun in the morning
When all I can see are darkened clouds
On a hurricane prone night
Your name lingers on
Hanging between my sanity and brevity
Telling me I need to heal
Help me heal these deep wounded places in my broken heart
Baby your name is all I have left